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Dealing
with Pathological Antagonists
Some
years ago we witnessed an extraordinary campaign of hate
and slander launched by disgruntled ex-members against an
outstanding mission in South Africa. Salvos of letters,
articles, e-mails and phone calls were launched. Websites
dedicated to slandering this mission were set up. All manner
of vindictive abuse was unleashed against this fine Christian
community. I was astounded at the persistence, obsession
and unconstructive maliciousness of the antagonists.
Soon,
I learned of other ministries overseas, who were also victims
of pathological antagonists. Then we became targets of similar
campaigns. On my last speaking tour to the USA I was given
a book which deals with this phenomenon. For your interest,
here is a review of the book which deals with this growing
threat to ministries, churches and missions.
A
review of: ”The Wounded Minister – healing from
and preventing personal attacks” by Dr. Guy Greenfield
Every
church and ministry has to deal with personality conflicts
and intermittent discord. The writer of this book considers
that normal. However, what he deals with in The Wounded
Minister is the “growing phenomenon”, “major
problem approaching crisis proportions” of “pathological
antagonists” and their allies and sympathises who launch
systematic and sustained attacks on the leader of a church
or ministry.
Dr.
Kenneth Haugk, a clinic psychologist, defines pathological
antagonists as “individuals who, on the basis of non-substantive
evidence, go out of their way to make insatiable demands,
usually attacking the person or performance of others. These
attacks are selfish in nature, tearing down rather than
building up, and are frequently directed against those in
a leadership capacity.”
G.
Llloyd-Rediger describes these antagonists as “clergy
killers”, who have as their one major objective, to
abuse or hurt the minister to the degree that they will
leave the ministry. Rediger notes that this abuse is “increasing
in epidemic proportions … it is a phenomenon that is
verified by both research and experience.” He identifies
clergy killers as “people who intentionally target
pastors for serious injury or destruction.”
COMMON
FEATURES
These researchers have noted certain common features in
the modus operandi of pathological antagonists.
1.
There is always a set of problems in the church or ministry
which serves as a background. The antagonist begins identifying
the minister as the cause of the problems. (These problems
may include finance, inter-staff conflict, a mailing, a
popular staff person resigning, “it does not really
matter what the problems are” - in most cases, the
minister is blamed).
2.
“One person seems to get the criticism train rolling.
One person takes it upon himself to begin pointing out these
‘serious problems that are hurting our church.’
Phone calls are made … letters are written … “
3.
“Often the person who leads the complaint charge takes
several weeks, maybe months, to marshall sympathetic support
for his position. Unsuspecting people begin to wonder whether
there may be some truth to the complainers accusations.”
4.
“In many cases the initial accuser enlists a few key
leaders to plan some meetings to be held at his or a sympathisers
home. These meetings are secret, that is ‘invitation
only’ meetings of people who the accuser believes will
agree with his accusations. The primary purpose is to gather
support for the eventual attack on their minister …
gathering additional evidence that the minister is to blame
for the church’s problems. Meticulous notes are usually
taken by the accuser or one he designates to do this”.
5.
“They will try to build a paper trail of accusations
with which to charge the minister with inefficiency, poor
leadership, lazy work habits, questionable moral behaviour
or unChristian attitude. An often-heard complaint is ‘oh,
it’s not so much what he does or says that is so bad,
it’s the way he does or says it.’ The way is seldom
explained; it is just assumed to be bad, unhealthy, conflicting,
in appropriate, unkind or harsh.”
6.
”The accusing leader plans his attack very carefully
… he turns on his charm to win the friendship and support”
of key people.
7.
“The clergy killer knows he must work through recognised
authority … to accomplish his goal of getting rid of
the minister. When he knows he has their backing, he will
move swiftly, with careful calculation.”
8.
“The attack has actually been going on for some time,
but the clergy killer, when the time is right, gets his
plan of attack on the agenda of the official board of his
church. He arranges for the minister not to be present.”
9.
“At this crucial meeting, the clergy killer lays his
charges before the assembled body of lay leaders. He will
use ‘statistics’ to bolster his accusations.”
10.
“When the statistics are interpreted negatively, the
finger of blame is pointed at the minister. The bottom line
of the charges is very simple: if we get rid of our minister,
all of our problems will be solved.”
11.
“He will probably try to get a special committee appointed
(hopefully his friends) to visit the minister in his office
as soon as possible to pressure him to resign quietly ‘for
the sake of the church’s unity and future’. By
this time … many ministers have been so harassed and
worn out emotionally by all the accusations (by phone calls,
letters … personal visits and rumours) that they will
go as quickly and quietly as possible.”
12.
“It is possible that open conflict will explode …
“
13.
“The abused clergy person usually goes into a clinic
depression … his wife and children also feel rejected
… the ‘collateral damage’ can be quite heavy
and devastating.”
14.
“Abused clergy are frequently abandoned and treated
as if they ‘now have some dread disease, and their
friends, colleagues and superiors keep their distance. Rarely
does anyone come to their aid.”
Characteristics
of Pathological Antagonists
Who are these clergy killers? “These are not normal
people, average complainers, critics and typical dissidents
who are generally unhappy about life itself … they
are deadly and have a knack for gathering a following of
ordinary folk with common complaints and disagreements in
the church. They can easily create the illusion that there
are hordes of people against the pastor. They are masters
at using the tyrannical they in their comments: ‘They
are very unhappy about …’ or the illusive people:
‘people are saying that ….’ These are verbal
instruments in the arsenal that they use to destroy a minister.”
Dr.
Greenfield describes pathological antagonists/clergy killers,
as persons with “a very mean spirited disposition …
they are destructive. The damage that they want to inflict
is intentional and deliberate. They are not out simply to
disagree … they want to inflict pain and damage persons.
… clergy killers are determined. They are headstrong
and will stop at nothing. They may pause for a time, change
strategies, even go underground to reconnoitre, but they
will come back with a vengeance to continue the intimidation,
networking and breaking all rules of decency to accomplish
their destructive objectives. For them, their plans have
priority over all other programmes of the church. These
persons are deceitful … masters of manipulation, camouflage,
misrepresentation and accusing others of their own atrocious
deeds … experts at twisting facts. … maybe mentally
disordered, but they do not yield to patience or love, nor
do they honour human decency. Apparently clergy killers
carry around a lot of internal pain, confusion, anger, and
even rage. Spiritual leaders … become available scapegoats
for this pain and confusion, which is unidentified and untreated.”
“Clergy
killers are masters of intimidation, using it to violate
the rules of decency and caring that most Christians try
to follow. Intimidation is a powerful weapon … therefore,
ministers and their supporters are easily intimidated by
these persuasive and charming religious assailants. Clergy
killers are experts of disguise when they see it would be
to their advantage. They are able to present themselves
as pious, devout and spiritual church members, who are doing
their destructive work ‘for the good of the church
to advance God’s Kingdom.’ They can convince naïve
church members that they are raising legitimate issues.
These religious monsters often hide among their allies of
opportunity … they openly intimidate any opposition
by making it clear that they will fight dirty and use any
tactic to accomplish their goals. Gentle and peace-at- any-price
church members are quickly sidelined by such threats, leaving
ministers and those who support them to cope with the problem
the best way they can.”
“Clinically
speaking, … they may possess distinct personality disorders
… anti-social, borderline paranoid, narcissistic …
others have learnt to throw tantrums to get their selfish
ways. They’ve learnt how to distract, confuse, lie
and seduce to do harm to the vulnerable.”
“Clergy
killers wound or destroy either by direct attacks or by
inciting others to inflict the wounds. Sometimes they induce
victims to self-destruct, by harassing them to the point
of frustration and anger. … it only takes one or two
in the church to create havoc and bedlam. Because these
people live in denial as to their true nature, they would
not see themselves in this chapter, even if they were to
read it. Clergy killers have surrounded and insulated themselves
with a whole array of defense mechanisms and justifications
for their actions. They firmly believe that what they are
doing in harming and terminating a minister is the right
thing to do. For them, it is the will of God. Nevertheless,
they are sick and mean people.”
What
is a Pathological Antagonist?
A pathological antagonist is an intransigent person of antagonistic
disposition.
1.
“The arguments of a pathological antagonist are usually
found in little or terribly misrepresented evidence …
quibbling over petty details, offering strong proof of irrelevant
points … exaggerating the position of one’s opponent
… making an accusation that cannot be disproved and
then claiming that this makes it true … outright lying
or falsification. An antagonist, in his attempt to make
the kill, will take certain facts and so twist them that
they are blatantly false when presented. In time he convinces
himself that his twisted facts are true.”
2.
Pathological antagonists are ‘”hyper-sensitive
to any word or action, even trivial oversights, so that
he takes these things as a personal attack and responds
aggressively.”
3.
“The pathological antagonist is never satisfied. His
demands are insatiable. No amount of accommodation on the
ministers part will ever suffice. Attempts at appeasement
will not calm him down, but will encourage him to make more
demands. … he is persistent and unstoppable.”
4.
“The pathological antagonist will lead a campaign of
attack on the minister … not trying to give constructive
criticism … his goal is nothing short of control, no
matter what it may cost the minister or the church. The
antagonist is so full of rage that he feels compelled to
attack the enemy (the minister) until he is destroyed (terminated
and eliminated from the scene).”
5.
“This person probably has a God problem. He feels some
deep-seated anger towards God for some reason out of his
past experiences. Because it is difficult to show anger
directly towards God, the pathological antagonist chooses
the minister, the ‘man of God’, as his target.
Sometimes this anger is guilt-driven (possibly due to some
hidden sin) … a smokescreen to cover his own moral
indiscretions.”
6.
“The attacking behaviour of a pathological antagonist
is selfish in nature … this person is rarely interested
in authentic spiritual goals. If one rationale no longer
works to his advantage, he will devise another … his
stated reasons for opposition are a ruse for his own hidden
agenda. What he really wants is power, control, status and
authority.”
7.
“The attacks … are for destruction rather than
construction. The antagonists’ actions divide the church;
they do not pull the people together.”
Dr.
Greenfield distinguishes between four types of pathological
antagonists.
Hard-core
Antagonists
“Seriously disturbed people … out of touch with
reality … paranoid … which is not easy to detect
… can appear normal either some or most of the time
… incredible persistence and an extreme desire to make
trouble, even enjoying their sadistic inclinations. One
can easily spot one of these individuals by the smirk often
seen on his face, especially noticeable after he makes a
cynical or snide remark … hard-core antagonists will
go to any length and expense to wreck havoc on their targets
… they are fighting a Jihad, a holy war, and the minister
is the enemy. They believe they are doing God a favour.
Their inner rage is baptised with the aura of holy zeal.
Without a doubt, the hard-core antagonist is slippery and
dangerous. He cannot be reasoned with. The Apostle Paul
may have had this kind of people in mind when he warned
the Ephesian elders about ‘savage wolves’ infiltrating
the congregation and ‘not sparing the flock’ (Acts
20:28-29).”
Major
Antagonists
Not as severely disturbed. “If the hard-core antagonist
cannot be reasoned with because of emotional instability,
the major antagonist refuses to be reasoned with. Reason
is within his capacity, but he knows that if he uses it,
he may be defeated or proved wrong. So, to protect his position,
he simply refuses to be reasonable and his demands are insatiable.
This individual probably has a character or personality
disorder, seen in the heavy load of anger he carries about
… personality problems … deep-seated. A major
antagonist does not want to change, since change is threatening
to him. He has built a defensive wall around himself, labelled
‘I am right, what I’m doing is right’.”
Moderate
Antagonists
Lack the self-starting quality of the first two types …
the moderate antagonist initiates trouble only if the opportunity
presents itself – however, he will quickly follow a
hard-core or a major antagonist in causing trouble –
but he lacks the perseverance of the other two. He has personality
problems, but they are not as severe as those of the hard-core
or the major types.
Well-intentioned
Dragons
They have goals which may “allegedly be in the best
interests of the church, but their methods and attitudes
are still those of a dragon, doing more harm than good,
undermining the ministry of the church without intending
to do so.”
Dr.
Greenfield notes that while all of the above four types
are “malevolent in both intent and effect.. I’m
distinguishing here somewhat between degrees of meanness.”
Dr. Greenfield also clearly distinguishes between persistent
activists who are devoted to a worthy cause, for example
– the Pro-Life / Anti-abortion crusade. Activists are
“issue orientated, not person centered as the pathological
antagonists are.”
“Pathological
antagonists possess an insatiable desire to drag problems
out interminably, eventually wearing down the target of
opposition. Pathological antagonists precipitate conflict
that is unhealthy and destructive.”
Pathological
antagonists are “negative and critical … legalistic
and intransigent … quick to point out other’s
faults and shortcomings … well-known for its judgmental
attitude … very picky about trivial details …
one long story of unhappiness …”
Dr.
Greenfield writes: “Over the years I have noticed that
persons who tended to be failures in their chosen careers
were inclined to come into the church and take key leadership
roles while exercising a strong controlling modus operandi
… although they were failures outside the church, they
could be somewhat important in the church.”
Allies
of Pathological Antagonists
“A pathological antagonist tends to attract certain
followers. Without them, the antagonist’s efforts would
fizzle. He usually does not have the courage to go it alone.
He needs followers to bolster his campaign against the minister
… calculating in his enlistment of a small band of
followers. Each had a personal axe to grind … the passive
nature of other church leaders simply allowed this to happen.”
The
Wounded Minister also notes that the greatest ally of pathological
antagonists, and the greatest enemy of spiritual leaders,
are the passive.
He
quotes Cicero: “There are two kinds of injustice: the
first is found in those who do an injury, the second in
those who fail to protect another from injury when they
can.”
Those
who do an injury are motivated either by meanness or psychopathy.
Those who stand by and allow it to happen are motivated
either by cowardice or indifference.
Edmund
Burke noted: “All that is necessary for evil to triumph
is for good men to do nothing.”
Those
who are intimidated by powerful and persuasive antagonists
enable clergy abuse. The antagonists see this passivity
as an open invitation to continue their assaults and they
become even more bloodthirsty.
It
is also noted that, while the targets of the antagonist
are frequently too busy to do their homework and respond
to the vast amount of accusations, the pathological antagonists
always have an excessive amount of free time. “The
antagonist have tended to be retired people … with
a lot of free time on their hands ..., the antagonists had
plenty of time to plan their strategy, organise their supporters,
hold secret meetings with their friends and spend numerous
hours telephoning people to get the vote out for key meetings.”
When
the minister can come up with the documentation and the
facts to refute any number of the accusations thrown at
him, the antagonist simply changes the subject and tries
another attack. There are normally no apologies or any acknowledgement
of the damage they have done.
“This
reminds me of the typical hit and run driver who never pays
for his crime. Unlike the driver, however, the antagonist
enjoys doing this sort of thing.”
Biblical
Precedents
The classical Biblical precedent is Judas Iscariot. Judas
was the treasurer of the disciples, obviously a trusted
person. “Satan entered into Judas called Iscariot.”
Luke 22:3. It is not incidental that the basic meaning of
Satan is “accuser”, which is the primary role
of an antagonist.
The
Apostle Paul wrote in 2 Corinthians 10-13 of: “False
apostles, deceitful workers, disguising themselves as apostles
of Christ” ; “Super apostles” who have a
“different spirit” and are embroiling the church
in “quarreling, jealousy, anger, selfishness, slander,
gossip, conceit and disorder.” The Apostle Paul writes
that his ministry had been for “building up and not
for tearing down.” Paul rebukes the Corinthian Christians
for not having defended him in the face of these antagonists.
Another
Biblical example is Diotrephes written about in John’s
third letter. John characterised this antagonist as one
“who liked to put himself first” and “does
not acknowledge our authority.” Diotrephes was “spreading
false charges against us.”
John
concludes with this appeal: “Beloved, do not imitate
what is evil, but imitate what is good. Whoever does good
is from God; whoever does evil has not seen God.”
Collateral
Damage to the Church
The underhand tactics of pathological antagonists are “a
lot like throwing a hand grenade … it may wound or
kill the minister, but a lot of other people and other aspects
of the church’s ministry will be damaged or destroyed
as well. A sad note about this is that pathological antagonists
don’t really care what damage they do.”
Those
involved in angry, grumpy, critical and disgruntled gossip
sessions and those trying to placate them will naturally
have little time left for serious spiritual work. “A
major casualty of minister abuse is the church’s evangelistic
outreach.” But “antagonists are always right.
Loss of members, contributions and spiritual fervour is
for the self-appointed judges of the ministry, always the
ministers fault.”
“Churches
that abuse their ministers are not growing churches. They
either stagnate or eventually die, if not in numbers, at
least in spirit.”
Wounded
ministers observes that “when a church is more concerned
with its internal operations … than it is with ministry,
it becomes vulnerable … churches that are more committed
to winning new converts and discipling them in the faith
… will be less vulnerable to Satan’s attacks.
Outreach, evangelism, ministry and missions will keep a
congregation on its knees in prayer. Satan can more easily
invade a church that is consumed with secondary matters.”
The
Curse of Appeasement
“When the good, prayerful, dedicated, loving lay leaders
are afraid of conflict in the church and have no stomach
for challenging” pathological antagonists, they “will
choose a philosophy of appeasement rather than reasonable
confrontation ...” However, when targets plead for
help to those not involved in the campaign of hate, they
are normally “met with unbelief that there were any
evil intentions to get rid of the minister.”
This
naivete fuels and encourages the pathological antagonist
to press on with his obsessive campaign.
Scriptural
Solutions
Dr. Greenfield writes: “The Bible wisely sets limits
on the criticism of a minister. Paul directed Timothy in
the churches under his charge: ‘never accept any accusation
against an elder, except on the evidence of two or three
witness. As for those who persist in sin, rebuke them in
the presence of all, so that the rest also may stand in
fear.’” 1 Timothy 5:19-20. Legitimate accusations
must be supported by two or three witnesses, and must be
clearly recognised as sinful behaviour by the church. If
these criteria are not met, Paul implies that the accuser
must be rebuked for violating Scriptural standards.”
“A
single witness shall not suffice to convict a person of
any crime or wrong doing in connection with any offense
that may be committed. Only on the evidence of two or three
witnesses shall a charge be sustained. If a malicious witness
comes forward to accuse someone of wrongdoing, then both
parties to the dispute shall appear before the Lord …
the judges shall make a thorough enquiry. If the witness
is a false witness, having testified falsely against another,
then you shall do to the false witness just as a false witness
had meant to do the other. So you shall purge the evil from
your midst. The rest shall hear and be afraid.” Deuteronomy
19:15-20
Extracts
from The Wounded Minister – healing from and preventing
personal attacks by Dr. Guy Greenfield, published by Baker,
2002
“But
avoid foolish disputes, genealogies, contentions and strivings
about the law; for they are unprofitable and useless. Reject
a divisive man after the first and second admonition, knowing
that such a person is warped and sinning, being self-condemned.”
Titus 3:9-11
Other
related articles:
A
Biblical Response to Slander
Why do so many fail and give
up?
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